


Don't you dare forget the Sun

by TweekingOut



Category: South Park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2759819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TweekingOut/pseuds/TweekingOut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cold white walls, keep you from your pad and pen.<br/>You just wanna stab again.<br/>I can't believe it's half this hard,<br/>You never knew your mind was dark, no!<br/>Inside the mind of Tweek Tweak as he snaps. Sort of AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't you dare forget the Sun

 

_You're a mess, tangled with your confidence. You think you haven't sinned. Well, you're unstoppable, Your walls are impassible._ ¬

 

It was well known in the small Colorado town of South Park that the one called Tweek Tweak was a little off. Everyone saw it, including his friends Craig, Clyde and Token. No one thought much of it, attributing his oddness to the caffeine addiction. The jittering and odd things he’d say. No one took him seriously when he started spouting about people looking for him. Not a single soul knew exactly how deep or dark the boy was, not even Tweek himself. He never knew, even after it had started. The blonde loved it, it was a monster but he couldn’t stop. No one could stop him. The adults in this town were all idiots and acclaimed it to natural causes or the other weird shit that goes down daily. Once he even let it be blamed on aliens. It didn’t even occur to the twitchy boy what he did was wrong, because to him it felt good, it felt right.

_Oh, I think you're better off looking alone, 'Cause the boys that chase your hips can just go find their way home. And at the end of the day you think to yourself, "My body is a product being sold on a shelf." Tell me I can change, Tell me I can change._

His hunt always involved only himself. No one else, aside from his monster. He strolled around swinging his hips to the beat to attract them all first. Tweek worked night shifts, sometimes with Kenny. Dancing for money or otherwise. He was paid well and that’s all that mattered. In a rare time of clarity he accepted what he had done and decided he didn’t like it. It was these times the blonde, lost in his thoughts, and had gone completely still. No jitters, no shakes, no twitches. Just a far off look in his eyes, one caught by his friends sometimes. They were curious as to how deep of thoughts could make their freaky friend stop still. It’s not like they did anything to figure it out however.

_I know you lay in bed, Contemplating your own death. Well, just look at what you've done. Don't you dare forget the sun, love!_

The usually happy, innocent looking boy just lay there, paying no mind to the boy playing games nearby. He also ignored the blue chullo hat being laid on the floor as he concentrated. Said boy paid no mind to the young teen. Another rare moment of clarity in his usually insane head made him thinking about how he himself would die He’d seen it enough times to runs through the scenarios. One of his victims getting the upper hand in their struggle, being caught and sent away, or the worst one being committed for all the voices. He really only had two voices in his head: his and the monster that is. Reflecting on what he’s done wasn’t hard, he had an odd memory that way; slightly photographic. He could describe each gory detail down to the last hair. _(Don't forget!)_ Oh no, he could never forget. The stark difference between himself in the sun, and himself in the darkness.

_Cold white walls, keep you from your pad and pen. You just wanna stab again. I can't believe it's half this hard, You never knew your mind was dark, no!,_

_i_ t didn’t even surprise him anymore. Tweek wakes up to the too white walls around him, sounds of others waking up as well. It was almost routine now. The white walls he stared down offered no solace, merely cold deafening silence in mock of him. Tweek was cocky; he had gotten far too sloppy. He had far underestimated the detectives and vigilante of the town. What disturbed him most was the looks when he described each detail like it was nothing. That’s what it was to him after all: nothing. Tweek always had that urge, his hand clenching and itching for something, anything to crave his desire. It wasn’t his desire he said, no, it was the monster. Of course they believed that. Who wouldn’t believe the freaky little boy with the voices in his head telling him to do what he does best. A bitter laugh escaped is rough throat, mostly unused for the past months. The word they described him as: dark. He never knew he was dark.

_Well, I think you're better off looking alone, 'Cause the boys that chase your hips can just go find their way home. You can dig so deep for scars, You never knew your mind was dark. Come on and breathe with me, oh! Breathe with me, oh!_

Months alone in solitude had a hard effect on his already rattled mind. Who ever thought isolation was a quick and effective treatment for mental illness was obviously mentally ill themselves. He had only gotten worse, although now allowed visitors. No one ever visited. Craig had once, but with Tweek’s dark mind rambling he was scared away. That the monsters fault. At least that’s who the boy blamed anyway. His room now consisted of one dresser, filled with uniforms all stitched with his number. Mostly green or a shade of it. It had one bed, plain and as white as the walls. It drove him nuts, no pun intended that nothing had color. They wanted him to think himself to death. Another bitter laugh and a mumble of “Yeah, that’s very possible with you here now.” To his monster went unnoticed to any others. They were used to his rambling. Well, I know you lay in bed, Contemplating your own death. Well, just look at what you've done. Don't you dare forget the sun, love! Tweek wondered when it would end. He had no exciting scenarios. Tweek would be bored to death before he could attempt escape; no one liked him enough to help him if the opportunity arose itself anyways. Kenny came in that night during visitor hours; the boy had always been one with a knowing mind. He reminded him of the outside, of the sun. It shook his deeper than the shadows of his mind, how could he ever had forgotten the sun? Because the sun meant hope and life and he had none. It was worse than his tortured victims. He voiced this opinion to the other blonde. When had he turned cynic? He didn’t realize that the darkness had made him cynical. You look down on, me so casually, In everything I know. You look down on me, but not right on me. Did I wreck this broken home? He felt gazes on him and turned in surprise to realize more than Kenny was standing there. It was his group of friends: Cartman, Stan and Kyle,

Tweek remembered. Craig was at the back near Clyde and Token.” How sweet,” he sneered, “they’ve come to see the crazy Tweek Tweak.” A few of their gazes held pity, and contempt. Mostly though, they looked down as if they were any better. As if they’d never had these dark thoughts in their heads. When most of them left, bored with the silence and Tweek’s occasional glances at them, Stan slipped something into his hand. A journal? With a pen even. One of those fancy calligraphy pens. The blonde gave a small smirk, what an idiot, who handed him a weapon. Instead of indulging the dark monster he actually started to write. He was being ironic, so why not? Dear diary, Life is trying me. Can I get a sign? Or a two of mine, a piece of mind. Can I get a sign? (a sign) Can I get a sign? (I know) He looked at the words written on the page. So easily written and yet meaning so much to him. Tweek lay in bed that night wondering: what if he showed the doctor he could be ok? He could be out of here and a dairy of sorts to help manage his thoughts would help. Surely even if he faked it, he would have proven them already he had ‘changed’ by not stabbing Stan with the sharp pen. Tweek hid the book under his mattress after writing a few dark poems and lyrics. Tweek looked up at the white ceiling that mocked him so. At least it wasn’t padded like his first days in here.

_Well, I know you lay in bed, Contemplating your own death. Well, just look at what you've done. Don't you dare forget the sun, love!_

Tweek looked out the window of his new room. Since convincing the idiots running this place he was getting better, he had gotten a real room. He wasn’t in isolation anymore and even talked with a few other patients for fun. Of course he messed with their minds, but no one had to know that. The blonde had even stopped ripping out his hair by pulling on it and freaking out. He was really improving in their eyes. Each step they saw as god was another step he took inside to the darkness. Hey had no idea, all the fake smiles and innocence and saying how the monster was leaving, how it was gone. Lying to faces and making them think he wasn’t mad. It was easy. He watched as the sun grew into the sky and something nagged at him, something Kenny had said. Don’t forget the sun? What was that all about? It didn’t matter anyway where he was going had no sun.

You look down on, me so casually, In everything I know. You look down on me, but not right on me. Is it plain to see, that life is trying me? Ohh, life is trying me! Life is trying.

Sometimes he thinks that they see his real struggle. How when he holds the pen he thinks of spilling their lives on the floor. How when he talks to the monster (not aloud, not anymore at least.) how he craves and desires chaos. It’s the only thing keeping him here and it’s driving him up the wall. He needed a plan, Tweek wants out and he needed a plan. The doctor looked down at him, as if not really seeing him but seeing what he wants to say. As if seeing the words in the dairy he writes. Life is trying me, but how is it trying to you? Tweek wonders this once in a session. Oops, he let that one slip out loud this time. It had been a question for his monster. Can I think of something? Gotta think of something! Tweek tried to remain clam, as if he had been intending to say that to the doctor. Said doctor asked where it had come from. The blonde closed his eyes and a real smile lit his face. He didn’t answer though, not really. Where was his plan now? He might have just revealed how much darkness he was hiding in a single question. He tried to cover for it. Think Tweek, he chastised himself and then thought of a good response. “Life is trying, but don’t you dare forget the sun, love.” He whispered and looked at the office window, deep in thought once again. It was one of his rare moments of clarity. The doctor pointed this out, and commented on it. Tweek just smiled and laid back in his thoughts. Don’t you dare forget. He thought of his friends, the sun. The sun reminded him of being happy, their smiling faces as he made a joke. As he fell over on purpose just to spill boiling coffee on Eric Cartman. When Tweek was bright, when his mind hadn’t been dark. When he didn’t pretend to be happy, he really was. He thought of the comparison to him light and dark. He hadn’t thought of anything good in a very long time. Tweek frowned in a sudden revelation. Had he really forgotten? He repeated what he’d said to himself, quietly. “Don’t you dare forget the sun.”


End file.
